Top 5 Funny Christmas Card Sayings

Roll on the floor this Yuletide with my funny Christmas card sayings. It’s the Season to be merry and jolly after all.

The first two in my list of funny Christmas quotes needs parental guidance. But relax, they’re nothing indecent:

Funny Christmas Quotes #1

It comes from John William “Johnny” Carson, who had hosted the eponymousThe Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson for three decades, and who is dubbed one of the Twentieth Century’s most influential comedians.

“The price of Christmas toys is outrageous a hundred dollars, two hundred dollars for video games for the youngsters.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride in.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            He played in the box it came in. It taught me a very valuable lesson. Next year, he got the box. And I got a hundred dollars’ worth of scotch!”

Funny Christmas Quotes #2

It comes from James Douglas Muis “Jay” Leno, host of the eponymous The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

“The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, DC. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”

Funny Christmas Quotes #3

It comes from Bernard Manning, an English comedian whose jokes were criticized for piquing ethnic and minority groups. He would always deny his personal racial bias by saying, “You never take a joke seriously.”

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying,’Toys not included.

Funny Christmas Quotes #4

It comes from Shirley Jane Temple, or simply Shirley Temple, child actress of the 1930s. At the age of six, she skyrocketed to superstardom and received a special Academy Award in 1935.

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six.Mother took me to see him in a department store And he asked for my autograph.”

Funny Christmas Quotes #5

That was cracked by an anonymous author.

“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.”

Now, how true is that? But let’s not be bitter at Santa Claus for he’s the holiday’s icon that lights up our gloomy faces with his cheeky grin and Ho-Ho voice. Share the funny Christmas quotes you encounter and help bring everyone some good cheer!